I have been pretty weepy today. I don’t know if it is all of these hormones rushing through me or maybe my lack of sleep lately…but it has been one of those days! And not necessarily sad weeping. It was kind of a dreary rainy day today, so I snuggled up to read a good book: “Letters to God.” I read it in about 3.5 hours. To those who have not read it, it is awesome….but I have to warn you: tears will flow. It has many sad parts, but through loving God, this family gets through their darkest times. It was amazing and heart wrenching at the same time.
Then I watched a music video done by some sweet young men. They wrote uplifting and sweet words about each of the young women in their ward and presented it to them and made them feel so loved and special. Again…my tears flowed. Those young men made those girls’ days and it was so powerful and uplifting.
Sometimes I can be so scared of this world we live in and want to just shut things out and hide under the covers…but there is still beauty all around. Even through the gut wrenching times in the book I read…so many miracles happened and many hearts turned to God for peace and comfort. It didn’t always change the outcome, but it brought peace.
There is still so much love and goodness in this world and things to experience in life. I find myself sitting here with a sense of gratitude for the blessings in my life. It made me want to sit down and just write the things I love and am grateful for. Writing everything would lead me to never leave from this computer, but I want to share as much as I can right now.
Things I am blessed with:
My Faith. I have grown up as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I have had my ups and downs and moments of doubts and fears and questions, but when I finally hit my lowest of lows…I realized just how strong my testimony and faith in Christ truly was. I was able to knock the dirt off, put on my big girl pants, take care of things I needed to take care of, and nurture my beliefs. Gaining more insights and more peace and comfort. Learning new doctrines, affirming principles I have been taught my whole life, and loving it. This gospel has brought so much joy and comfort in my life. I know things in life are not perfect and there are still going to be hard times; but having Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in my corner, I know I can get through it. Even if I may still sometimes cry and scream along the way. Without the knowledge I have of my Savior’s love and his Atonement, this world would just be too hard. I am bringing a beautiful child into this world soon, and I cannot begin to imagine if I had to do it on my own and trust only my judgment. I am so thankful that He is always there for me. For anyone wanting to know more in depth about my gospel: http://www.lds.org is the place to go. It truly is amazing.
My husband. I love my husband more than anything. He is my rock and my best friend. What we have together is something I have only dreamed of in fairy tales. He has a way of making me feel whole. I love that he lets me be me. That as much as we are so close, we can be separate people and grow together independently. We are both walking on the same road. We have the same goals and desires for our future. I trust him completely. He is my eternal companion. I know that he is going to be just as amazing of a father as he is a husband, and I am so excited for my children to love him and experience him like I have. He has never led me to believe I am anything but amazing in his eyes. We have a marriage that involves no cutting words, yelling or tearing down. He makes me feel so appreciated, and I love and appreciate him so much! I cherish all of our time together and the experiences we share: little dances in the bathroom, cuddles in bed, drives listening to music, conversations with just our eyes, silliness, the way he can look deep into my soul and tell me everything will be okay and mean it, holding hands while driving, massaging my pregnancy aches, big enveloping hugs, air kisses as he leaves for work, sweet text exchanges, going to the temple together, sitting next to him in church with his arm around me, playing video games together, him dealing with my million snoozes, prayers together, inside jokes, tickle fights, bee fears, and how hard he works for our little family. I could go on and on. I am just so thankful to have been given someone who balances me perfectly and who lifts me up no matter what. I love him.
Family. I am so thankful for our families and the amazing support they have been to me (and us) over the course of our lives. I know many prayers have been uttered on our behalf, and many of them answered. Our families are the ones who helped shaped us who we are today and who continue to lift us up. I am grateful to be here with my family while we are in this transition, and I can cultivate relationships and make many new memories that I can take with me once we move onto our own adventure. I have loved getting to know my brothers on a deeper level, and to have awesome conversations with my parents that have bonded us closer together. I am thankful for their laughs and happy times. I am grateful for the principles and lessons my family has taught me throughout my life and I know there will be phone calls for advice to them as I raise my own children and strive to teach them the best way I can.
I am also so thankful for in-laws who have been nothing but welcoming to me into their family and I have truly felt loved by them. I am so grateful for that. I am grateful that they raised my husband to be the amazing young man that he is as well. We are lucky to be able to bring Bailey into a world where there is so much family love 🙂
Our Future. I know this one is still in progress, but I am so grateful to have a direction. I am so proud of Adam for making it into grad school and that we KNOW he is meant to be at Texas Tech in Lubbock. I have faith that this is where our journey is supposed to continue. I am learning to put even more trust in the Lord as we uproot, get student loans, and get into the thick of school life and family life. Thankfully I have such an awesome partner in crime 😉 I am also so very thankful that my health has been great in my pregnancy thus far. My body has been strong and sturdy as little Bailey grows healthy inside. I am thankful for her health and fun personality I can already feel inside of me. I know many women have had harder circumstances, so I know not to take my experiences for granted…even if I may complain a little about the heart burn and hip pain 😉 I am nervous about birth of course, but I know it will be okay one way or another. I just feel so grateful to be pregnant and to be having a child soon and to have the opportunity to be parents. I can’t wait.
Life is short. We need to embrace it and see the happy times as much as we can. I know I have the days that I want to sit and throw myself pity parties and just cry under the covers…and sometimes I let myself for a few minutes. Then you have to get up and live in the world. Yes it is scary and sad at times…but it is also wonderful and beautiful and full of cherishing experiences… if you take the time to notice them 🙂
These are our Bits O’ Bertoch.